They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My breasts were aching with rage.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
