Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
