your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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