i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
