that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize