Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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