She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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