Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
