At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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