I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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