Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
