did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
