He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
