I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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