I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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