bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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