sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
