Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
