Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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