So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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