bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
