Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
