Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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