Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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