you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
