I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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