Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
