So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
