I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
