I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
