you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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