i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
