then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I am naked and annoyed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
