i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
