Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
