I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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