She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
