worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
