I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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