Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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