Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
