it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
