I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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