Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
