hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We need a shit load of segways right now
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
