Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
