wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
