I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I intend to get homeless drunk
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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