The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize