My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize