He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
