i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it because I queefed?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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