the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
