so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
