My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
