There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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