North Korea, Best Korea!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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