Plan B is the new Plan A
I met the friendliest cop last night
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
