Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize