she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
