My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
