I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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